Meet The Pub Legends

TreeTop Tavern Wall of Fame Shame

Cartoon Polaroid of Boab The Landlord
Cartoon Polaroid of Boab The Landlord
Cartoon Polaroid of Boab The Landlord
Cartoon Polaroid of Boab The Landlord
Cartoon Polaroid of Boab The Landlord
Cartoon Polaroid of Boab The Landlord
Cartoon Polaroid of Boab The Landlord
Cartoon Polaroid of Boab The Landlord
Cartoon Polaroid of Boab The Landlord
Cartoon Polaroid of Boab The Landlord
Cartoon Polaroid of Boab The Landlord
Isla McGinty - Boabs Niece
Boab McGinty

đŸ» Meet Boab McGinty

Tavern Owner. Marketing Eejit. Unintentional Case Study.

Flat cap, suspicious stare, and a vibe like he’s lost a fight wi’ the printer.

Known For

  • Believin’ laminated menus are a “strategy”
  • Shoutin’ “I’ll dae it masel!” before doin’ it wrong
  • Accidentally goin’ viral fae fallin’ through the toilet door

Catchphrase

“It worked once in 2012, Sandra!”

What Boab Brings Tae the Tavern

Boab’s the beating heart o’ The TreeTop Tavern — if that heart had too many pies and no backup plan. He’s here tae show you what happens when ye trust your cousin wi’ your SEO, think Facebook boosts are a marketing funnel, and try tae run a CRM fae a beer mat. Every bad idea you’ve had in business? Aye, Boab’s tried it first.

Marketing Translation

Boab’s daftness makes him the perfect case study for what no’ tae dae — which means every time he mucks it up, you learn somethin’ useful. Eventually.

🐾 Meet TreeTopFrog

Marketing Strategist. Systems Whisperer. Full Scottish-Level Thinker.

Frog suit. Or
 maybe an actual frog. Even Sandra’s no’ sure.

Known For

  • Roasting Boab wi’ love and laminated logic
  • Droppin’ truth bombs harder than Big Davie throws darts
  • Turnin’ marketing waffle into bite-sized brilliance

Catchphrase

“Even you, Boab, might learn somethin’
 eventually.”

What The Frog Brings Tae the Tavern

TreeTopFrog is the digital brains keepin’ the Tavern runnin’ smoother than Davie’s fryer on chip night. While Boab’s shoutin’ into the void and Sandra’s balancin’ pints and patience, Frog’s buildin’ automations, crushin’ campaigns, and makin’ strategy sound like common sense.

He’s here tae myth-bust, guide, and occasionally save the whole show fae collapse — usin’ nothin’ but wit, wisdom, and AWESUM¼ aka, the Tavern Toolkit. Slicker than yer da on his second dram.

Marketing Translation

Frog represents TreeTopFrog Ltd — the real creative agency behind the banter. He’s the expert, the fixer, the one ye call when yer marketing is in chaos and yer booking form’s linked tae Cousin Kev’s crypto blog. Smart enough tae run a Fortune 500. Patient enough tae deal wi’ Boab. That’s heroic stuff.

Boab McGinty
Boab McGinty

đŸ¶ Meet Pixel

Judgy Pub Dug. Sharp-tongued, Sass Machine. Secret Marketing Genius.

Tri-colour cockapoo, usually givin’ someone the side-eye. Head of Barketingℱ đŸŸ

Known For

  • Clockin’ every dodgy decision and judgin’ wi’ her eyebrows
  • Stealin’ sausages, pies and punchlines
  • Daein’ mair wi’ a sigh than Boab does wi’ a PowerPoint

Catchphrase

“Boab’s idea of strategy is like a seagull wi’ a head injury barkin’ at a bin.”

What Pixel Brings Tae the Tavern

Pixel’s the closing line, the side-eye sniper, and the soul o’ the Tavern’s wisdom. She rarely says a word — but when she does, it’s the last one, and it hits harder than Davie throwin’ a dart after three pints.

While Boab’s ragin’, Sandra’s clatterin’, and the Frog’s roastin’, Pixel just lifts her heid, sniffs the nonsense, and drops a line that silences the room — or sends it howlin’.

Marketing Translation

Pixel is clarity. The punchline. The point. She represents what great messaging should be: short, sharp, memorable, and delivered wi’ confidence. In a world of noise, Pixel barks last — and best.

đŸŽ€ Meet Sandra

Waitress. Drama Magnet. Karaoke Assassin.

Power curls, glitter eyeliner, and a gaze that could melt laminate — or yer confidence.

Known For

  • Explodin’ on TikTok while threatenin’ a stag do wi’ a dessert spoon
  • Sellin’ the full dessert menu wi’ just a wink and a tray
  • Givin’ Boab a verbal skelp at least three times a day

Catchphrase

“Hiya sweetheart, I’ll get that in a jiffy!”

What Sandra Brings Tae the Tavern

Sandra is the emotional support hurricane of the TreeTop Tavern. She’s the one ye hear before ye see — whether she’s beltin’ out karaoke or beltin’ Boab wi’ another hard truth.

If TreeTopFrog is the strategy and Boab’s the chaos, Sandra’s the human glitter bomb that glues it aw thegither — wi’ sass, speed, and a tray full o’ puddin’s.

Marketing Translation

Sandra’s what happens when brand voice meets high heels and zero patience. She knows how tae work a room, drive sales, and go viral without even tryin’. If you want lessons in attention, timing, and irresistible offers — just watch her flog pudding tae a table that said ‘just the bill, hen.’”

Boab McGinty
Boab McGinty

đŸŽ± Meet Big Davie

Chef. Darts Semi-Finalist. Pool Champ & Enforcer. Occasional Safety Hazard.

Apron long past retirement, cayenne-stained hands, and a stare that’s grilled as many folk as steaks.

Known For

  • Screamin’ “IT’S NO BURNT, IT’S CHARRED!”
  • Abandonin’ the kitchen mid-rush tae win a pool game
  • Once attemptin’ a whisky flambĂ© wi’ a Zippo and nae regrets

Catchphrase

“Could’ve gone pro.”

What Davie Brings Tae the Tavern

Big Davie’s the heart attack on legs runnin’ the Tavern kitchen — part chef, part pool legend, part reason the fryer’s banned fae open mic night. He’s no’ one for marketing lingo, but he’s full o’ hot takes, bold opinions, and grease-stained wisdom straight fae the hot plate.

Davie’s also proof that if yer service is strong (and yer portions are loud), folk’ll put up wi’ a lot. Even spontaneous power cuts mid-pie.

Marketing Translation

Big Davie’s your operations department — passion over polish. He represents the real, messy, glorious heart o’ local business. Not optimised, not automated
 but unforgettable.
Ye cannae scale chaos, but Davie proves ye can sell it.

đŸ§± Meet Daz

Local Builder. Voice of Reason. Official Avoider of Nonsense.

Dusty hoodie, solid boots, and the expression of a man who’s seen Boab’s ideas and chosen peace.

Known For

  • Sayin’ “I’ll sort it” and actually sortin’ it
  • Leavin’ his tools cleaner than Boab’s browser history
  • Quietly automatin’ things Boab still writes on napkins

Catchphrase

“I’ll dae it — just dinnae ask me tae build the bar as well.”

What Daz Brings Tae the Tavern

Daz is the calm in the storm, the lad who fixes stuff instead o’ postin’ about it. He runs his own tight wee trade business, uses AWESUM¼ without shoutin’ about it, and somehow manages tae stay mates wi’ both Tam and Frank.

He’s not flashy. He’s just sorted — and that makes him pure rare round here.

Marketing Translation

Daz is the dream client and the service pro folk love tae hire. Systems runnin’, customers happy, no faff. He proves that behind every great brand is someone who’s just quietly gettin’ it done — while still droppin’ one-liners so sharp they should come wi’ a PAT test.

Daz Profile
Frank Profile

🧮 Meet Frank (Kev’s Da)

Semi-Retired Odd Job Man. Former Avon Power Seller. Pub Mood Regulator.

Pint in one hand, half-done crossword in the other. Trackie jacket, mystery tool belt, and a stare that could curdle milk. Smells faintly o’ fake tan, hand cream, and WD-40.

Known For

  • Glarin’ at folk like he invented disappointment
  • Fixing everything but smilin’ about none of it
  • Hauntin’ the pub wi’ unsolicited advice and ancient sales tactics

Catchphrase

“Back in ma day, we did sales door tae door — nae faff, nae funnels.”

What Frank Brings Tae the Tavern

Frank is the living, muttering reminder that the old ways still work — charm, consistency, and turnin’ up on time. He’s part pub fixture, part DIY oracle, and part of the reason Kev’s obsessed wi’ crypto and trauma.

Every time someone says “click funnel,” Frank materialises like a genie from an oil can and mutters somethin’ about leaflets, charm, and how people buy fae people.

Still the only guy who can upsell a wall bracket and a life lesson.

Marketing Translation

Frank’s the sceptic in every audience. The one who’s seen it aw, doubts yer AI chatbot, and still thinks a good pitch starts wi’ a handshake and ends wi’ an order. If ye can win Frank over, yer strategy’s bulletproof.

🍖 Meet Tam The Butcher

Legendary Meat Merchant. Sausage Philosopher. King o’ the Cold Cut.

Apron that’s seen things. Shoulders like a wardrobe. Eyes that say “don’t ask for vegan.”

Known For

  • Sellin’ the best steaks in the county wi’ the worst chat imaginable
  • Turnin’ customer loyalty into an Olympic sport
  • Sponsoring every raffle, fundraiser, and pub quiz within a five-mile radius

Catchphrase

“Typical.”

What Tam Brings Tae the Tavern

Tam’s the supply line. The muscle. The quiet operator who shows up, gets it done, and never overpromises. He’s not loud, but he is legend — and when he backs somethin’, it means it’s solid.

He’s old school — but no’ daft. That’s why Tam runs his hamper orders, payments, and customer list through AWESUM¼. Because quality recognises quality, and even a butcher needs a system sharper than his knives.

If Davie’s the fire in the kitchen, Tam’s the steel that arrives at 6am, nods once, and disappears before the sausages stop hissin’.

Marketing Translation

Tam’s the dream client: skilled, straight-talking, and no time for gimmicks. He’s proof that even traditional local businesses can run modern systems — if those systems actually work. No faff. Just function.

Tam The Butcher - Local Legend Profile
Mystic Allie Profile

🔼 Meet Mystic Allie

Psychic. Performer. Walkin’ Disclaimer.

Flowin’ scarves, sparkly eyes, and the eerie confidence of someone who definitely knows your star sign.

Known For

  • Leavin’ folk in floods, fits, or full-blown existential spirals after one reading
  • Pullin’ secrets oot folk’s souls like she’s got admin access to the astral plane
  • Predictin’ everything from job offers to cheese-related hauntings — and somehow gettin’ it bang on

Catchphrase

The cards dinnae lie
 but folk usually do.

What Mystic Allie Brings Tae the Tavern

Mystic Allie lit up the Tavern like a full moon on curry night. Posters shared, tickets vanished, and folk came fae miles — thanks tae her own assets, local buzz, and some Morag-powered retargetin’.

Her readings sparked tears, confessions, and at least one declaration of being Cleopatra. She’s tourin’ the country, booked solid, and provin’ that a strong brand and a loyal crowd can fill any room!

Marketing Translation

Mystic Allie is proof that when your brand’s tight, your offer’s strong, and your audience does the shoutin’ for ye — you dinnae need gimmicks. She’s booked solid, shared like mad, and remembered forever.
Word-of-mouth? Check. Promo materials? Spot-on. Asset-ready and community-powered? She’s a bloody case study in herself.

đŸ„ƒ Meet Logan & Brook

Overenthusiastic Tourists. The Tartan Tourists. Souvenir Squad.

Logan: Hawaiian shirt, DSLR bigger than his head, tam o’ shanter at a jaunty angle
Brook: Fleece, tartan leggings, whisky sampler in her handbag
Both: Matchin’ “I ❀ Loch Ness” hoodies they bought in Inverness and wear everywhere

Known For

  • Dressin’ like Braveheart fan-fiction
  • Butcherin’ local slang
  • Taggin’ the Tavern in 87 Instagram stories before the first pint’s poured

Catchphrase

Is this where they filmed Braveheart?!

What Our Transatlantic Cousins Bring Tae the Tavern

Logan & Brook are pure walking tourism marketing. Every visit turns intae content — fae TikToks at the dartboard tae selfies wi’ Big Davie like he’s a Highland attraction. They mispronounce Irn-Bru, mistake Tam for a Viking, and still somehow win folk ower wi’ pure glee.

Marketing Translation

They’re user-generated content in human form. Their posts reach hundreds back home. They’re daft, loud, and loyal — and prove that if yer brand feels fun and “authentic,” folk’ll do the advertising for ye.

Logan and Brook Profile
Logan and Brook Profile
Morag From the Mailroom

📬 Meet Morag

Post Office Whisper Queen. Fleece Tornado. Gossip-Powered Retargetin’.

Glasses permanently perched halfway down her nose, cardigan of intimidation wi’ mystery pockets. Tea flask gripped like a lie detector.

Known For

  • Stormin’ in mid-sentence and somehow already knowin’ the scandal
  • Retargeting folk with gossip they think it’s fate
  • Foldin’ her lunch bag with the same precision she uses on stamp rolls

Catchphrase

Somebody telt me, and now I’m tellin’ you.

What Morag Brings Tae the Tavern

Morag is the human version o’ word-of-mouth marketing — fast, fierce, and followin’ up in ways algorithms could only dream of. One raised eyebrow fae her carries more weight than a five-star Google review. Mention her name, and folk either flinch, blush, or double-check their fly.

She’s proof that yer offline presence is just as powerful as yer online one — especially if Morag’s the one talkin’.

Marketing Translation

Morag is retargeting with a pulse. She’s organic reach, influencer marketing, and local SEO rolled into one woolly juggernaut. If yer brand gets mentioned in Morag’s lunchtime rant, you’ve either made it
 or you’re about tae regret everything.

📘 Meet Isla

Boab’s Niece. Student Essay Queen. Accidental Digital Weapon.

High ponytail, baggy hoodie, and a tote bag full o’ backup chargers, oat bars, and colour-coded highlighters.

Known For

  • Usin’ AI like a cheat code — ethically, obviously
  • Comparing keyword research tae essay plans (and winning)
  • Gently roastin’ Boab wi’ a raised eyebrow and a lecture in disguise

Catchphrase

You cannae say that, Uncle Boab!

What Isla Brings Tae the Tavern

Every time Isla pops into the Tavern on a uni break, she leaves behind a digital fix or a life lesson — sometimes both. She’s switched on, unbothered, and the only one Boab listens tae when the printer starts screamin’.

Marketing Translation

Isla is the next-gen marketer — AI-savvy, research-driven, and quietly brilliant. She disnae shout, she just solves it. She’s what happens when strategy meets subtlety
 and why every business needs someone wi’ brains, bandwidth, and a Boab-proof plan.

Isla McGinty

🧮 Meet Magicman

Comedy Magician. Sleight-of-Hand Specialist. Misdirection Merchant.

Calm, confident, well-cut jacket. The kind o’ guy that could palm yer keys and still have you thankin’ him.

Known For

  • Doin’’ tricks that melt heads and win pints
  • Takin’ the piss out o’ fake experts — while doin’ real magic
  • Leavin’ before Boab can say, “Do one wi’ ma debit card”

Catchphrase

I’m just an honest cheat.

What Magicman Brings Tae the Tavern

Magicman pops in now and then — does his bit, stuns the room, and vanishes before folk can ask for a free gig. He’s sharp, smart, and never says too much. Folk laugh, gasp, and immediately accuse him o’ havin’ secret cameras.

Marketing Translation

Magicman’s the lesson in perception, distraction, and perfect timing. He’s everything surface-level marketing pretends tae be — but isn’t. He’s proof that when you really know your craft, you can drop jaws without shoutin’ about it. Also… folk say he might be the Frog. But naebody knows. Except maybe Pixel.

Become a Tavern Regular

Free pints? Naw! But get the latest tools, daft wisdom, free chapters, Pixel life advice and pub-approved nonsense straight tae yer inbox.

đŸ“© Sign Me Up